These are some of the ideas that the group for scene 5 (Matt, Arian, Ed) put together. Nothing is set in stone as of yet, but these ideas will show up in the rough draft for monday. Please comment on them.
SCENE FIVE –AFTER DINNER SCENE -gloomy, rainy, stormy night
-As dishes are being washed, Ethan looks outside and sees a car go by. Power goes out due to storm.
-Mattie stumbles when light goes out due to being startled – falls down and exclaims that she is sore –symbolic of you know what
-Power goes out due to storm – use fireplace and candles for light…rain and thunder outside during scene – thunder and lightning at strategic points throughout the course of conversation, as foreshadowing of important scenes in the text
-Ethan sees Zeena in cat during a lightning strike
-Mattie is sewing one of her shirts – unable to afford new clothes, so she is sewing up one of her tattered ones. Ethan lights a cigarette. The two begin conversing.
-discussion of going driving – going out and driving for sightseeing, Mattie wants to do it. Ethan asks if she’d be willing to drive over the broken bridge. Mattie is still willing – the two discuss the risks associated with it.
-Discussion of Ned and Ruth kissing in an alleyway – thunder strike at this moment, becomes awkward
-Mention of Mattie getting citizenship and going off on her own…Ethan seems remorseful at the prospect, Mattie wonders if Zeena wants her to leave the home, and the two talk about Zeena’s attitude toward Mattie. Ethan assures Mattie that Zeena does not want her out of the house.
-Ethan begins holding the fabric, clutching it tightly – becomes even more severely awkward
-Cat jumps into armchair – Ethan broods over Zeena’s return. Scene is transferred – Mattie and Ethan are both tired.
-Ethan leans down and kisses fabric – Mattie gets up and leaves The basement of the house leaks and floods due to rain…Fromes cannot afford to fix the leak and install a system to pump out excess water in basement, so Mattie goes downstairs and bails out some of the water in the basement that accumulated during the storm.
Mattie turns around quietly, looks at Ethan. They exchange goodbyes.
Hey Ed. Like the ideas but I have a couple questios. The storm you mention is not Katrina right? Also, how damaging will the storm be? Will it possibly inhibit Zeena's travels? But, I like what you have so far.
It's not Katrina...it would just be a typical thunderstorm. As for whether or not it inhibits the travels of Zeena, that might be something that would be determined later, based on how Zeena is traveling.
hello my fellow classmates, hope all is well, my group also finished our outline as well and did not know where everyone else was at so that we would be able to go over some ideas. For example, we wanted to just finish up the accident so that we are all on the same page about what happened during it, along with the glass statue as a resemblance for the pickle dish.
John. Brenna from group 7 posted her outline for the suicide scene on the thread specifically for bloggers. Also, talk to Sean, Daniel, and Yichen for the pickle dish I think. They have the part at the wedding when it's presented to Ethan and Zeena.
In response to Evan: New change is that Ethan tells Zeena & Mattie about the bridge when Jotham is over for dinner right after Ruth and Ned's accident, so Mattie knows about it. Then when the actual suicide happens, Mattie will mention suicide and offer the bridge as a means of accomplishing this.
Hey, guys, this is Matt (and there's no need for comments about the screen name >>.) Arian wrote the first part of this, and my contribution has proper indication. ------------------------------------ Haha, Evey Carton? It's too tempting not to ask. :P :P
Anyway, I was pretty confused about Group 8's explanation (given that it was abrupt and at the end of class). Is the hurricane going on as Ethan and Mattie are being transported from the crash, or later?
Also, I think that some actions that Ethan has been taking have been too...bold for him. For example, I love Group 7's (I think...Emily, Nate, Sam) idea for having Ethan thinking under the stars, but the action of taking the car out and making it as far as the highway seems VERY decisive for Ethan. Too bold, in my opinion. **Added by me, Matt** Yeah, I agree with Arian. I thought one of the significances of the letter writing was that Ethan took no action on it. He was submitting to the naturalistic forces, and thus decided that he couldn't act at all on it. Unless, of course, this drive you're speaking of is not his attempt at escape, but just a way of sorting out his thoughts? In that case, I can see that as: although it be a little decisive, it IS bringing back Ethan's ability to open up in nature.
We have already decided to show the wedding, instead of Group 1. One of our major concerns is what Mattie's background should be? Others suggested that she be an illegal immigrant from Cuba or Mexico. We believe that her background should be that she is an illegal immigrant from Mexico, which would fit more clearly with the rest of the play. Most of the rest of our material fits with everyone else's scripts, but I was wondering how realistic the suicide scene would be if the bridge collapes while they were driving on it. The bridge would already be blocked off with concrete barriers, and its extremely unlikely for the entire bridge to collapse from the weight of just one car. Bridges, even if damaged, are designed to carry immense loads, and even in a very damaged state, a car would not cause the entire structural integrity of the bridge to collapse. I'd suggest that there would be an erosion in the levees (earth section), perfect for ramping your car into the water, but if you don't watch out, you can ramp into the concrete section of the levee. If anyone else has a better idea, please share it! I want the best script possible :D
"hello my fellow classmates, hope all is well, my group also finished our outline as well and did not know where everyone else was at so that we would be able to go over some ideas. For example, we wanted to just finish up the accident so that we are all on the same page about what happened during it, along with the glass statue as a resemblance for the pickle dish."
Yeah, I think we are all in agreement about the glass statue idea, however, I think the current plan for what happened during the accident is not detailed and realistic enough.
In response to Dan: The bridge/foundation of the bridge could have been previously damaged during the hurricane, and once Ned and Ruth went over it, the damage was shown by the bridge cracking. I'm not sure about the cement barriers, but we were thinking about having yellow caution tape. The bridge would be in a state of damage that it is probable that a car could make it collapse, especially if Ethan has a big car. It is not definite that the bridge would collapse after one more car goes over it, but Jotham warns everyone just in case. That is why during the after dinner scene, Ethan asks Mattie if she would be willing to go over the bridge with him--since there is no definite chance that the bridge would collapse. It is partly chance that the bridge collapses when Ethan and Mattie drive over, just like the book, since it is not definite that you will die if you hit the tree. Also, I do not think that we would be able to fit the levee as a suicide possibility because it wouldn't go along with the plot as well as a bridge.
Can other people comment on this issue, so I can see whether you like the bridge accident or if you would find another scenario better?
OK I catch your drift, but I doubt that Ethan is rich enough to have a big car. My objection is mostly that just I think the idea sounds a little too "action-movie Hollywood" style and cliched. When these kinds of scenes are shown in movies, people are usually wondering "That was so unrealistic!" or "That was ridiculously fake, that [insert improbable disaster scene here]" So I don't want the same to happen to this script.
Another idea of mine is the bridge has a gap in the middle, but a ramp on one side to ramp your car to the other side of the gap, but also holes where there's deep and shallow water below. Ned and Ruth successfully ramp over the gap and find it thrilling, and Ethan aims for the shallow water hole but misses and hits the deep water hole. Maybe not that realistic, but just throwing ideas out there. After seeing your clarifications, your idea seems more plausible to me and I now think it's very acceptable. Of course, still some deep details to improve.
In response to Matt's question about Group 8, another hurricane happens years after the accident when the Fromes are pretty reclusive and only Ethan ever leaves the house. I realize now that this may not connect with the idea of having Dennis Eady as the investigator. Does it make sense him to take years in the investigation? I understanding that the story is taking place over a shorter period of time than in the book, but the gap between the epilogue and the "smash up" is 28 years so I feel we have some obligation to make that a significant time difference. I am confused about the investigator and do not understand why it is Dennis Eady instead of an outsider as in the book. I get that this explains his interest in Mattie, but can't this be a separate mini story line from the investigation?
About the bridge: it doesn't have to be an especially huge one. I think we all have in mind a mammoth steel structure like the ones connecting NY. It could just be a bit smaller as I dont think there are very large rivers in new orleans. Perhaps there are few holes in side that ethan and Mattie could drive over and into the river, because their injuries seem to be inflicted by water so far. Dan, I also agree Mexico is more plausible. Are we still considering a name change to something hispanic for Mattie? Evan H: I agree, I said before that the time span between katrina and then the next hurricane is only a few years, while the book is 28 years. Is this difference too drastic? And Evan, I am also a little confused too. I though we had TWO investigators: Denis is the government immigration official who is investigating Mattie, a small miniline, while there is another, the narrator and outsider, who is investigating Ethan for the levee/bridge collapse because he was a construction worker and is the one who discovers Ethans sordid story through local individuals. If I am wrong, please contradict me.
I'm a little murky on one point: does the second hurricane after Katrina hit during the suicide attempt or years later, when Ethan and Mattie are already injured (the epilogue)?
TO Matt: I read your comment above about how Ethan's car ride is too decisive (btw, we're group 6). However, I think it is fine. He is not getting into his car to get out, permanently: otherwise he would've have packed and taken Mattie with him. Rather, the car ride is like Ethan in the book dwelling over the story of the man who left his wife, moved out west, and all became successful. He is merely thinking about it. The car ride is like him scoping out what is possible and then realizing that he does not have the resources to do anything.
I still think that it is too much personal choice for Ethan to actually drive near the highway. I mean, he's taking the initiative and leaving his home, going quite far actually...it seems to decisive.
Also, it isn't bad if our time frame is shortened. This doesn't have to happen over 28 years. Additionally, there are two investigators--Denis, who is a side plot with Mattie, and the investigator of the bridges and what not. Remember, anything federal related takes longer than it should to complete, and mix the law and investigation in there, and it takes longer still. So your time period gap wouldn't be 28 years, but maybe 3 or something as the investigator piles the information and sources.
While writing our dialogue, group 5 was confused as to Mattie's ability with the English language. Can she speak generally well without need of going crazy with eloquent vocabulary? Does she speak broken English?
As for the second hurricane, it was murky for me too, but I think it would be cool if there is a hurricane coming as Mattie and Ethan are escorted away from the crash.
Speaking of which, look at this: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/bd/Structural_Bridge_Damage.jpg
Notice how the bridge is split in sections. This is much more plausible for the crash, with a section falling out.
Group 1: I mentioned this earlier, but Ethan telling Zeena he can't live without her is too decisive for him.
Group 2: It's "Husband and Wife", not "Man and Wife". I also don't like the idea of a montage showing Mattie's story after Aunt Julie calls up Zeena and tells Zeena that she is sending her a housekeeper. It seems that it doesn't fit and flow well within the context of the rest of the story, and feels out of place. Instead of showing a montage, it is possible to have scenes interwoven through your section of the script that progressively show Mattie's backstory. For instance, a scene where Aunt Julie is angry that Mattie because she was unaware that Mattie was an illegal immigrant. Overall though, I don't feel that the idea of a montage of Mattie's backstory works well.
Group 3: Mattie mentions that Denis was talking about how difficult it was to be a government official. However, in the dance conversation, Denis never reveals that he is a government official in any way. Furthermore, in the book Mattie and Denis are dancing enthusiastically, whereas in your script it's more awkward and forced. I feel that Denis needs to be more subtle. Having him ask Mattie, straight up, if she's hispanic is too obvious.
Also, when Mattie and Ethan are walking back home, your script shows that they see Ned and Ruth going over the bridge and having the bridge "semi collapse". This doesn't quite fit in perfectly with the other scripts, because in other scripts Ethan says that he heard Jotham say that if one more person went over the bridge, it would collapse completely. However, in this scene, there is no Jotham. I think you need to include it so that Jotham was nearby when Ned and Ruth went over the bridge, and then have Jotham state that if one more person goes over, the bridge will collapse completely. Either way, in some way, shape, or form Jotham needs to say his line about the bridge collapsing if one more person walks over it.
Also, when Mattie sees Ned and Ruth almost fall off the bridge, instead of saying that they should check up on Ned and Ruth to make sure they are alright, Mattie says that she wants to go home. This doesn't make sense.
Also, I think that Group 5's script (i.e., my group's) lacks a lot of the descriptive scene detail and visual direction that I'm seeing in a lot of other groups.
Also, I didn't see that many camera directions.
So yeah, I'm going to be talking with Arian and Matt about our script and improving it.
These suggestions are just some things I'm seeing with the scripts. If you take issue with any of my suggestions, please tell me.
I just realized that my group (group 3) completely forgot to include camera directions. We'll be adding those in and posting a new revised script soon.
Also, should we include Jotham Powell in the scene where Ned and Ruth drive over the bridge? We were't sure how his character fit into the script, so we just left him out.
These are some of the ideas that the group for scene 5 (Matt, Arian, Ed) put together. Nothing is set in stone as of yet, but these ideas will show up in the rough draft for monday. Please comment on them.
ReplyDeleteSCENE FIVE –AFTER DINNER SCENE
-gloomy, rainy, stormy night
-As dishes are being washed, Ethan looks outside and sees a car go by. Power goes out due to storm.
-Mattie stumbles when light goes out due to being startled – falls down and exclaims that she is sore –symbolic of you know what
-Power goes out due to storm – use fireplace and candles for light…rain and thunder outside during scene – thunder and lightning at strategic points throughout the course of conversation, as foreshadowing of important scenes in the text
-Ethan sees Zeena in cat during a lightning strike
-Mattie is sewing one of her shirts – unable to afford new clothes, so she is sewing up one of her tattered ones. Ethan lights a cigarette. The two begin conversing.
-discussion of going driving – going out and driving for sightseeing, Mattie wants to do it. Ethan asks if she’d be willing to drive over the broken bridge. Mattie is still willing – the two discuss the risks associated with it.
-Discussion of Ned and Ruth kissing in an alleyway – thunder strike at this moment, becomes awkward
-Mention of Mattie getting citizenship and going off on her own…Ethan seems remorseful at the prospect, Mattie wonders if Zeena wants her to leave the home, and the two talk about Zeena’s attitude toward Mattie. Ethan assures Mattie that Zeena does not want her out of the house.
-Ethan begins holding the fabric, clutching it tightly – becomes even more severely awkward
-Cat jumps into armchair – Ethan broods over Zeena’s return. Scene is transferred – Mattie and Ethan are both tired.
-Ethan leans down and kisses fabric – Mattie gets up and leaves
The basement of the house leaks and floods due to rain…Fromes cannot afford to fix the leak and install a system to pump out excess water in basement, so Mattie goes downstairs and bails out some of the water in the basement that accumulated during the storm.
Mattie turns around quietly, looks at Ethan. They exchange goodbyes.
Ethan remembers that he never made a move.
Mrs. Smith - If you happen to be reading this blog, could you comment specifically on the ideas that were posted above?
ReplyDeleteHey Ed. Like the ideas but I have a couple questios. The storm you mention is not Katrina right? Also, how damaging will the storm be? Will it possibly inhibit Zeena's travels? But, I like what you have so far.
ReplyDeleteIt's not Katrina...it would just be a typical thunderstorm. As for whether or not it inhibits the travels of Zeena, that might be something that would be determined later, based on how Zeena is traveling.
ReplyDeletehello my fellow classmates, hope all is well, my group also finished our outline as well and did not know where everyone else was at so that we would be able to go over some ideas. For example, we wanted to just finish up the accident so that we are all on the same page about what happened during it, along with the glass statue as a resemblance for the pickle dish.
ReplyDeleteJohn. Brenna from group 7 posted her outline for the suicide scene on the thread specifically for bloggers. Also, talk to Sean, Daniel, and Yichen for the pickle dish I think. They have the part at the wedding when it's presented to Ethan and Zeena.
ReplyDeleteIn response to Evan: New change is that Ethan tells Zeena & Mattie about the bridge when Jotham is over for dinner right after Ruth and Ned's accident, so Mattie knows about it. Then when the actual suicide happens, Mattie will mention suicide and offer the bridge as a means of accomplishing this.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Smith here (aka "Evey Carton" - don't ask!!)
ReplyDeleteMoving on. I'm glad everyone has started posting on the blog and helping each other out. Some good suggestions. Keep it going...
Hey, guys, this is Matt (and there's no need for comments about the screen name >>.) Arian wrote the first part of this, and my contribution has proper indication.
ReplyDelete------------------------------------
Haha, Evey Carton? It's too tempting not to ask. :P :P
Anyway, I was pretty confused about Group 8's explanation (given that it was abrupt and at the end of class). Is the hurricane going on as Ethan and Mattie are being transported from the crash, or later?
Also, I think that some actions that Ethan has been taking have been too...bold for him. For example, I love Group 7's (I think...Emily, Nate, Sam) idea for having Ethan thinking under the stars, but the action of taking the car out and making it as far as the highway seems VERY decisive for Ethan. Too bold, in my opinion.
**Added by me, Matt**
Yeah, I agree with Arian. I thought one of the significances of the letter writing was that Ethan took no action on it. He was submitting to the naturalistic forces, and thus decided that he couldn't act at all on it. Unless, of course, this drive you're speaking of is not his attempt at escape, but just a way of sorting out his thoughts? In that case, I can see that as: although it be a little decisive, it IS bringing back Ethan's ability to open up in nature.
Group 2:
ReplyDeleteWe have already decided to show the wedding, instead of Group 1. One of our major concerns is what Mattie's background should be? Others suggested that she be an illegal immigrant from Cuba or Mexico. We believe that her background should be that she is an illegal immigrant from Mexico, which would fit more clearly with the rest of the play. Most of the rest of our material fits with everyone else's scripts, but I was wondering how realistic the suicide scene would be if the bridge collapes while they were driving on it. The bridge would already be blocked off with concrete barriers, and its extremely unlikely for the entire bridge to collapse from the weight of just one car. Bridges, even if damaged, are designed to carry immense loads, and even in a very damaged state, a car would not cause the entire structural integrity of the bridge to collapse. I'd suggest that there would be an erosion in the levees (earth section), perfect for ramping your car into the water, but if you don't watch out, you can ramp into the concrete section of the levee. If anyone else has a better idea, please share it! I want the best script possible :D
John said:
ReplyDelete"hello my fellow classmates, hope all is well, my group also finished our outline as well and did not know where everyone else was at so that we would be able to go over some ideas. For example, we wanted to just finish up the accident so that we are all on the same page about what happened during it, along with the glass statue as a resemblance for the pickle dish."
Yeah, I think we are all in agreement about the glass statue idea, however, I think the current plan for what happened during the accident is not detailed and realistic enough.
In response to Dan: The bridge/foundation of the bridge could have been previously damaged during the hurricane, and once Ned and Ruth went over it, the damage was shown by the bridge cracking. I'm not sure about the cement barriers, but we were thinking about having yellow caution tape. The bridge would be in a state of damage that it is probable that a car could make it collapse, especially if Ethan has a big car. It is not definite that the bridge would collapse after one more car goes over it, but Jotham warns everyone just in case. That is why during the after dinner scene, Ethan asks Mattie if she would be willing to go over the bridge with him--since there is no definite chance that the bridge would collapse. It is partly chance that the bridge collapses when Ethan and Mattie drive over, just like the book, since it is not definite that you will die if you hit the tree. Also, I do not think that we would be able to fit the levee as a suicide possibility because it wouldn't go along with the plot as well as a bridge.
ReplyDeleteCan other people comment on this issue, so I can see whether you like the bridge accident or if you would find another scenario better?
OK I catch your drift, but I doubt that Ethan is rich enough to have a big car. My objection is mostly that just I think the idea sounds a little too "action-movie Hollywood" style and cliched. When these kinds of scenes are shown in movies, people are usually wondering "That was so unrealistic!" or "That was ridiculously fake, that [insert improbable disaster scene here]" So I don't want the same to happen to this script.
ReplyDeleteAnother idea of mine is the bridge has a gap in the middle, but a ramp on one side to ramp your car to the other side of the gap, but also holes where there's deep and shallow water below. Ned and Ruth successfully ramp over the gap and find it thrilling, and Ethan aims for the shallow water hole but misses and hits the deep water hole. Maybe not that realistic, but just throwing ideas out there. After seeing your clarifications, your idea seems more plausible to me and I now think it's very acceptable. Of course, still some deep details to improve.
Great communication and work you guys! Good luck with the dialogues!
ReplyDeleteMrs. S.
In response to Matt's question about Group 8, another hurricane happens years after the accident when the Fromes are pretty reclusive and only Ethan ever leaves the house. I realize now that this may not connect with the idea of having Dennis Eady as the investigator. Does it make sense him to take years in the investigation?
ReplyDeleteI understanding that the story is taking place over a shorter period of time than in the book, but the gap between the epilogue and the "smash up" is 28 years so I feel we have some obligation to make that a significant time difference.
I am confused about the investigator and do not understand why it is Dennis Eady instead of an outsider as in the book.
I get that this explains his interest in Mattie, but can't this be a separate mini story line from the investigation?
Evan
The above is Evan H. I'm not sure if you can tell.
ReplyDeleteAbout the bridge: it doesn't have to be an especially huge one. I think we all have in mind a mammoth steel structure like the ones connecting NY. It could just be a bit smaller as I dont think there are very large rivers in new orleans. Perhaps there are few holes in side that ethan and Mattie could drive over and into the river, because their injuries seem to be inflicted by water so far. Dan, I also agree Mexico is more plausible. Are we still considering a name change to something hispanic for Mattie?
ReplyDeleteEvan H: I agree, I said before that the time span between katrina and then the next hurricane is only a few years, while the book is 28 years. Is this difference too drastic? And Evan, I am also a little confused too. I though we had TWO investigators: Denis is the government immigration official who is investigating Mattie, a small miniline, while there is another, the narrator and outsider, who is investigating Ethan for the levee/bridge collapse because he was a construction worker and is the one who discovers Ethans sordid story through local individuals. If I am wrong, please contradict me.
I'm a little murky on one point: does the second hurricane after Katrina hit during the suicide attempt or years later, when Ethan and Mattie are already injured (the epilogue)?
ReplyDeleteTO Matt: I read your comment above about how Ethan's car ride is too decisive (btw, we're group 6). However, I think it is fine. He is not getting into his car to get out, permanently: otherwise he would've have packed and taken Mattie with him. Rather, the car ride is like Ethan in the book dwelling over the story of the man who left his wife, moved out west, and all became successful. He is merely thinking about it. The car ride is like him scoping out what is possible and then realizing that he does not have the resources to do anything.
ReplyDeleteTo Emily:
ReplyDeleteO.K., that's what I had thought originally. Now it makes sense.
I still think that it is too much personal choice for Ethan to actually drive near the highway. I mean, he's taking the initiative and leaving his home, going quite far actually...it seems to decisive.
ReplyDeleteAlso, it isn't bad if our time frame is shortened. This doesn't have to happen over 28 years. Additionally, there are two investigators--Denis, who is a side plot with Mattie, and the investigator of the bridges and what not. Remember, anything federal related takes longer than it should to complete, and mix the law and investigation in there, and it takes longer still. So your time period gap wouldn't be 28 years, but maybe 3 or something as the investigator piles the information and sources.
While writing our dialogue, group 5 was confused as to Mattie's ability with the English language. Can she speak generally well without need of going crazy with eloquent vocabulary? Does she speak broken English?
As for the second hurricane, it was murky for me too, but I think it would be cool if there is a hurricane coming as Mattie and Ethan are escorted away from the crash.
Speaking of which, look at this: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/bd/Structural_Bridge_Damage.jpg
Notice how the bridge is split in sections. This is much more plausible for the crash, with a section falling out.
A few comments:
ReplyDeleteGroup 1: I mentioned this earlier, but Ethan telling Zeena he can't live without her is too decisive for him.
Group 2: It's "Husband and Wife", not "Man and Wife". I also don't like the idea of a montage showing Mattie's story after Aunt Julie calls up Zeena and tells Zeena that she is sending her a housekeeper. It seems that it doesn't fit and flow well within the context of the rest of the story, and feels out of place. Instead of showing a montage, it is possible to have scenes interwoven through your section of the script that progressively show Mattie's backstory. For instance, a scene where Aunt Julie is angry that Mattie because she was unaware that Mattie was an illegal immigrant. Overall though, I don't feel that the idea of a montage of Mattie's backstory works well.
Group 3: Mattie mentions that Denis was talking about how difficult it was to be a government official. However, in the dance conversation, Denis never reveals that he is a government official in any way. Furthermore, in the book Mattie and Denis are dancing enthusiastically, whereas in your script it's more awkward and forced. I feel that Denis needs to be more subtle. Having him ask Mattie, straight up, if she's hispanic is too obvious.
Also, when Mattie and Ethan are walking back home, your script shows that they see Ned and Ruth going over the bridge and having the bridge "semi collapse". This doesn't quite fit in perfectly with the other scripts, because in other scripts Ethan says that he heard Jotham say that if one more person went over the bridge, it would collapse completely. However, in this scene, there is no Jotham. I think you need to include it so that Jotham was nearby when Ned and Ruth went over the bridge, and then have Jotham state that if one more person goes over, the bridge will collapse completely. Either way, in some way, shape, or form Jotham needs to say his line about the bridge collapsing if one more person walks over it.
Also, when Mattie sees Ned and Ruth almost fall off the bridge, instead of saying that they should check up on Ned and Ruth to make sure they are alright, Mattie says that she wants to go home. This doesn't make sense.
Also, I think that Group 5's script (i.e., my group's) lacks a lot of the descriptive scene detail and visual direction that I'm seeing in a lot of other groups.
Also, I didn't see that many camera directions.
So yeah, I'm going to be talking with Arian and Matt about our script and improving it.
These suggestions are just some things I'm seeing with the scripts. If you take issue with any of my suggestions, please tell me.
I just realized that my group (group 3) completely forgot to include camera directions. We'll be adding those in and posting a new revised script soon.
ReplyDeleteAlso, should we include Jotham Powell in the scene where Ned and Ruth drive over the bridge? We were't sure how his character fit into the script, so we just left him out.